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- Our Election Special has updates from the Conservative camp (left) in National News, a Special Report on

the LibDem battlebus and the UKIP manifesto covered in Local News.

- Archibald Scamp suggests a remedy for our constitutional crisis in the Political Lifestyle while Zeus Maode watches the live debates for a special Election Sweats.

- Incurable romantic Russell Brand guides the ladies with his Ballot Box Dating while Harry Figgis delves into Mel Gibson's celebrity endorsements.in Hobbies.

- AJ Kirby presents an Investigation into the prophecy of who will really run this country in the Bullingdon Club Code while Quentin Workshy-Fopp MP makes a Special Plea to his constituents.

- Our Election News Round Up features Disillusioned Voters, The Green Party, anti-Scotch Englishmen and that man, Prime Minister 'Diddy' David Cameron (again).

- Finally, an exclusive sneak preview of the post-Election political landscape via International News.

- Celebrate the Festive Season in anti-EU style with Nigel Farage and his Twelve Days of UKIP Christmas (left).

- Join our famous Guest Columnist in his Syrian Wonderland for Bashar Assad's Christmas Miracle!

- Botham Squab takes you through the Perfect Yuletide Dinner, past and present, in his Hot Lunch - Xmas Fist!

- The Reverend Harry Figgis gets Iain Duncan Smith into the spirit of the season with his new adaptation of Scrooged!

- .To cap a monumental year, Eric Pickles takes over Tesco for his latest triumph, that's National News.

- .Built to Spill's classic second LP features in Music and Westminster's Quentin Workshy-Fopp MP gets into the seasonal mood with his Guide to Having a Great English Christmas.

- And our Special Report looks into the strange case of Uttoxeter's Job Centre Murders.

- In the wake of the great 2015 Change of Political Lifestyle we look at those men pushed out of the limelight after the General Election and ask Where The F*ck Are They Now (right)?

- Meanwhile in Terror News, those pesky ISIL Jihadis have thought up a whole new recruitment wheeze!

- The £12 billion in Welfare Cuts have been identified by fist-pumping avenger Iain Duncan Smith. For further details head to Local News!

- Our Classic Album series continues with 'Good Morning Spider', the sophomore effort from Mark Linkous's spine-tingling Sparklehorse.

- We travel to one Northern Powerhouse for a Special Report, interviewing those sadly unaffected by recent changes to the Inheritance Tax threshold.

- And finally, the Conservatives' Five Year Reign begins to take shape with the appointment of a new Cabinet Mascot, as detailed in National News.

- Progress towards a Caliphate of ISIL in the Middle East is derailed in International News (right).

- Our exclusive Lifestyle Interview features Home Secretary-slash-Fashion Icon Theresa May!

- The progress of Robot Sheepdog technology is unsettling for many, as relayed in Local News.

- Our Terror Round Up features Cyber-Jihadis, rising threat levels and the latest government advice.

- .Inspired by recent Drone Attacks, sports correspondent Grant Mortar looks at Making Football More Entertaining.

- Over in National News, Prince Harry is reacting badly to another Royal Impregnation.

- And David Cameron establishes his Hardman Credentials in our Special Report!

- Shocking reports that three Cornish Schoolboys have left the country to fight in a foreign war. That's International News.

- New recruit Zeus Maode binges on entertainment in The Culture Sweats.

- In National News we uncover the Labour Party's shocking plans to fully Weaponise the NHS.

- Our exclusive Investigation asks the question that's on the lips of Literary London - is Zadie Smith on crack?

- A Classic Album from The Capstan Shafts features in the regular Music column.

- .While our Special Report covers unofficial government attempts to cull the underclass, and how they're progressing..

NEW CONTENT!

- New Prime Minister Theresa May reassures all her worried British children in National News (left).

- Guest Columnist, Syrian President Bashar al-Assad offers his help and advice to the United Kingdom at this

difficult time.

- We present an Exclusive Lifestyle Interview with new Foreign Secretary and massive cockwomble, Boris

Johnson.

- In the nominal party of opposition, the latest Labour leadership election is hotting up. Read our Special Report.

- The Classic Albums series continues with the majestic sophomore effort from American indie-rockers

The Wrens.

- Also Stateside, International News has Republican nominee Donald Trump trying desperately to improve his chances of becoming President.

- And the strange phenomenon of Single Issue Stridency is addressed in a Local News activism special!

- Our End of 2015 News Round Up features the Chancellor's Autumn Statement (left), a very Ellie Goulding Christmas, the

first Calais Film Festival and David Cameron's 'Lords Surge'.

- Bashar al-Assad reflects on a momentous year in Syria, chillin' with Vladimir Putin and his growing showbiz fame in an Exclusive Guest Column.

- 'Diddy' David Cameron makes the key pledge that all our futures will be forever drug-free in National News.

- Intrepid globetrotter Tom Dickon Harry reflects on 2015, exploring the aftermath of Walt the Dentist vs. Cecil the Pig in a special Investigation.

- In Terror News Britain is entirely protected from extremist attacks through a combination of the Snoopers' Charter and Trident Renewal.

- Our Unwellness Guru explores the murky world of the inexpert lifestyle blogger, that's Archibald Scamp's

Health Dispatch.

- And finally, the Conservatives' smearing of Labour Leader Jeremy Corbyn backfires terribly, read our Special Report.

- As torrential storms wreak their havoc across the UK, National News focusses on the horror of a long-term threat, Hurricane Diddy Dave (right).

- Our News Round Up features a brave bouncer taking on ISIS, a sneak preview of the Queen's 90th Birthday and a whole gang of Hard Left Bruisers.

- Unwellness Guru Archibald Scamp returns to explore the misguided nature of New Year's resolutions in our Health Update.

- In the wake of Britain's brilliant Syria Bombing Campaign, International News details preparations for the next phase of our country's rewarding new war.

- Our Classic LP this time out is 'Convicts', an exhilarating blast of a record from Antipodeans You Am I while in Terror News we detail the short rise and unfortunate fall of Social Media's famous Crowdsourcing Jihadi.

- And finally, the 'In' Campaign for our forthcoming EU Referendum gets a huge boost from being fronted by one of the funniest men on the planet, that's in Celebrity.

- Republican Presidential candidate Donald Trump sees his latest campaign rally turn homicidal in International News (left).

- Our exclusive Investigation asks Which is Worse - Rugby or ISIS?

- In our Special Report resigning BREXIT crusader and former head of the DWP Iain Duncan Smith hits on a new means of boosting his failing income.

- Those militant Junior Doctors threaten both Health Secretary Jeremy Hunt and the NHS in National News.

- Celebrity Guest Columnist Bashar al-Assad sends his latest lifestyle dispatch back from Syria - And You Think Your Life Is Chaotic!

- In Local News blockading Black Cab Drivers protest against the times we live in.

- And finally, we report back on a Strange Case for the Independent Police Complaints Commission to investigate.

- With the EU Referendum looming, we report on the consequences of the now-inevitable BREXIT in International News (right).

- Our Classic LPs series continues with a low-rock masterpiece from Morphine.

- Katie Hopkins reveals an unexpected and controversial allegiance in our Celebrity Terror update.

- Local News reports on how more and more ordinary criminals are being hit by the scourge of Political Correctness.

- In case you missed it, Clint Panzerdivision's latest Football Fracas delves into the murky world of 'reality show' Mystery Diners.

- And the remaining Liberal Democrat MPs hit the road for a new fundraising initiative civered in National News.