the LibDem battlebus and the UKIP manifesto covered in Local News . - Incurable romantic Russell Brand guides the ladies with his Ballot Box Dating while Harry Figgis delves into Mel Gibson 's celebrity endorsements.in Hobbies . - AJ Kirby presents an Investigation into the prophecy of who will really run this country in the Bullingdon Club Code while Quentin Workshy-Fopp MP makes a Special Plea to his constituents. - Our Election News Round Up features Disillusioned Voters , The Green Party , anti-Scotch Englishmen and that man, Prime Minister ' Diddy' David Cameron (again). - Finally, an exclusive sneak preview of the post-Election political landscape via International News . - Botham Squab takes you through the Perfect Yuletide Dinner , past and present, in his Hot Lunch - Xmas Fist ! - The Reverend Harry Figgis gets Iain Duncan Smith into the spirit of the season with his new adaptation of Scrooged ! - .To cap a monumental year, Eric Pickles takes over Tesco for his latest triumph, that's National News . - And our Special Report looks into the strange case of Uttoxeter's Job Centre Murders . - In the wake of the great 2015 Change of Political Lifestyle we look at those men pushed out of the limelight after the General Election and ask Where The F*ck Are They Now (right)? - Meanwhile in Terror News , those pesky ISIL Jihadis have thought up a whole new recruitment wheeze ! - The £12 billion in Welfare Cuts have been identified by fist-pumping avenger Iain Duncan Smith . For further details head to Local News ! - Our Classic Album series continues with ' Good Morning Spider ', the sophomore effort from Mark Linkous's spine-tingling Sparklehorse . - We travel to one Northern Powerhouse for a Special Report , interviewing those sadly unaffected by recent changes to the Inheritance Tax threshold . - And finally, the Conservatives' Five Year Reign begins to take shape with the appointment of a new Cabinet Mascot , as detailed in National News . - Hostilities break out in the run up to the Scottish Referendum , that's International News (left). - National News covers the ongoing escapades of famous jailbird and inveterate hacker, Andy Coulson . - Our Special Report explores the growing public support for the public lynching of offensive Tweeters . - And in Local News the new outfit worn by a public house regular has Hereford all a-stir! Or, to enjoy all the mildly diverting features of Britain's premier paranoia and lifestyle webzine, simply hit the red button. HOME DEFENCE UK The Paranoia & Lifestyle Webzine Wallfloweresque by Alan Devey, now available The Spirit of Nagasaki now available Kicking Asbestos now available - Catch up with the hot new pop acts as we review the latest streamable sounds in Music (right). - Michael Gove comes to the rescue of the children of The North . We have a Special Report . - .The Reverend Harry Figgis looks at the aquatic attractions , coming soon to an English street near you in How I Spend My Days . - There's less than meets the eye to the tale of a Cannabis Factory , recently discovered above a Local Pub . - And in National News a Serial Killer follows the new trend for expressing sympathy . - Progress towards a Caliphate of ISIL in the Middle East is derailed in International News (right). - The progress of Robot Sheepdog technology is unsettling for many, as relayed in Local News . - Our Terror Round Up features Cyber-Jihadis , rising threat levels and the latest government advice. - Over in National News , Prince Harry is reacting badly to another Royal Impregnation . - And David Cameron establishes his Hardman Credentials in our Special Report ! - Shocking reports that three Cornish Schoolboys have left the country to fight in a foreign war . That's International News . - In National News we uncover the Labour Party' s shocking plans to fully Weaponise the NHS . - Our exclusive Investigation asks the question that's on the lips of Literary London - is Zadie Smith on crack? - A Classic Album from The Capstan Shafts features in the regular Music column. - .While our Special Report covers unofficial government attempts to cull the underclass, and how they're progressing.. NEW CONTENT! - With the EU Referendum looming, we report on the consequences of the now-inevitable - Our Classic LPs series continues with a low-rock masterpiece from Morphine . - Katie Hopkins reveals an unexpected and controversial allegiance in our Celebrity Terror update. - Local News reports on how more and more ordinary criminals are being hit by the scourge of Political Correctness . - In case you missed it, Clint Panzerdivision's latest Football Fracas delves into the murky world of 'reality show' Mystery Diners . - And the remaining Liberal Democrat MPs hit the road for a new fundraising initiative civered in National News . first Calais Film Festival and David Cameron's ' Lords Surge '. - Bashar al-Assad reflects on a momentous year in Syria , chillin' with Vladimir Putin and his growing showbiz fame in an Exclusive Guest Column . - 'Diddy' David Cameron makes the key pledge that all our futures will be forever drug-free in National News . - Intrepid globetrotter Tom Dickon Harry reflects on 2015, exploring the aftermath of Walt the Dentist vs. Cecil the Pig in a special Investigation . - In Terror News Britain is entirely protected from extremist attacks through a combination of the Snoopers' Charter and Trident Renewal . - Our Unwellness Guru explores the murky world of the inexpert lifestyle blogger, that's Archibald Scamp 's - And finally, the Conservatives' smearing of Labour Leader Jeremy Corbyn backfires terribly, read our Special Report . - As torrential storms wreak their havoc across the UK, National News focusses on the horror of a long-term threat, Hurricane Diddy Dave (right). - Our News Round Up features a brave bouncer taking on ISIS, a sneak preview of the Queen's 90th Birthday and a whole gang of Hard Left Bruisers . - Unwellness Guru Archibald Scamp returns to explore the misguided nature of New Year's resolutions in our Health Update . - In the wake of Britain's brilliant Syria Bombing Campaign , International News details preparations for the next phase of our country's rewarding new war . - Our Classic LP this time out is ' Convicts ', an exhilarating blast of a record from Antipodeans You Am I while in Terror News we detail the short rise and unfortunate fall of Social Media's famous Crowdsourcing Jihadi . - And finally, the 'In' Campaign for our forthcoming EU Referendum gets a huge boost from being fronted by one of the funniest men on the planet, that's in Celebrity . - Republican Presidential candidate Donald Trump sees his latest campaign rally turn homicidal in International News (left). - Our exclusive Investigation asks Which is Worse - Rugby or ISIS ? - In our Special Report resigning BREXIT crusader and former head of the DWP Iain Duncan Smith hits on a new means of boosting his failing income. - Those militant Junior Doctors threaten both Health Secretary Jeremy Hunt and the NHS in National News . - In Local News blockading Black Cab Drivers protest against the times we live in. - And finally, we report back on a Strange Case for the Independent Police Complaints Commission to investigate.