- Our Election Special has updates from the Conservative camp (left) in National News, a Special Report on 
the LibDem battlebus and the UKIP manifesto covered in Local News.
Archibald Scamp suggests a remedy for our constitutional crisis in the Political Lifestyle while Zeus Maode watches the live debates for a special Election Sweats
- Incurable romantic Russell Brand guides the ladies with his Ballot Box Dating while Harry Figgis delves into Mel Gibson's celebrity endorsements.in Hobbies.
AJ Kirby presents an Investigation into the prophecy of who will really run this country in the Bullingdon Club Code while Quentin Workshy-Fopp MP makes a Special Plea to his constituents.
- Our Election News Round Up features Disillusioned VotersThe Green Partyanti-Scotch Englishmen and that man, Prime Minister 'Diddy' David Cameron (again).
- Finally, an exclusive sneak preview of the post-Election political landscape via International News.

 - Celebrate the Festive Season in anti-EU style with Nigel Farage and his Twelve Days of UKIP Christmas (left).
 - Join our famous Guest Columnist in his Syrian Wonderland for Bashar Assad's Christmas Miracle!
Botham Squab takes you through the Perfect Yuletide Dinner, past and present, in his Hot Lunch - Xmas Fist!
The Reverend Harry Figgis gets Iain Duncan Smith into the spirit of the season with his new adaptation of Scrooged!
.To cap a monumental year, Eric Pickles takes over Tesco for his latest triumph, that's National News.
.Built to Spill's classic second LP features in Music and Westminster's Quentin Workshy-Fopp MP gets into the seasonal mood with his Guide to Having a Great English Christmas.
- And our Special Report looks into the strange case of Uttoxeter's Job Centre Murders
- In the wake of the great 2015 Change of Political Lifestyle we look at those men pushed out of the limelight after the General Election and ask Where The F*ck Are They Now (right)?
- Meanwhile in Terror News, those pesky ISIL Jihadis have thought up a whole new recruitment wheeze!
- The £12 billion in Welfare Cuts have been identified by fist-pumping avenger Iain Duncan Smith. For further details head to Local News!
- Our Classic Album series continues with 'Good Morning Spider', the sophomore effort from Mark Linkous's spine-tingling Sparklehorse.
- We travel to one Northern Powerhouse for a Special Report, interviewing those sadly unaffected by recent changes to the Inheritance Tax threshold.
- And finally, the Conservatives' Five Year Reign begins to take shape with the appointment of a new Cabinet Mascot, as detailed in National News.

Or, to enjoy all the mildly diverting features of Britain's premier paranoia and lifestyle webzine, simply hit the red button.
The Paranoia & Lifestyle Webzine
- Progress towards a Caliphate of ISIL in the Middle East is derailed in International News (right).
- Our exclusive Lifestyle Interview features Home Secretary-slash-Fashion Icon Theresa May!
- The progress of Robot Sheepdog technology is unsettling for many, as relayed in Local News.
- Our Terror Round Up features Cyber-Jihadis, rising threat levels and the latest government advice.
.Inspired by recent Drone Attacks, sports correspondent Grant Mortar looks at Making Football More Entertaining.
Over in National News, Prince Harry is reacting badly to another Royal Impregnation.
- And David Cameron establishes his Hardman Credentials in our Special Report!
 - Shocking reports that three Cornish Schoolboys have left the country to fight in a foreign war. That's International News.
- New recruit Zeus Maode binges on entertainment in The Culture Sweats.
- In National News we uncover the Labour Party's shocking plans to fully Weaponise the NHS.
- Our exclusive Investigation asks the question that's on the lips of Literary London - is Zadie Smith on crack?
- A Classic Album from The Capstan Shafts features in the regular Music column.
.While our Special Report covers unofficial government attempts to cull the underclass, and how they're progressing..


                                                - New Prime Minister Theresa May reassures all her worried British children in National News (left).

                                                Guest Columnist, Syrian President Bashar al-Assad offers his help and advice to the United Kingdom at this
                                                difficult time. 

                                                - We present an Exclusive Lifestyle Interview with new Foreign Secretary and massive cockwomble, Boris

                                                - In the nominal party of opposition, the latest Labour leadership election is hotting up. Read our Special Report.

                                                - The Classic Albums series continues with the majestic sophomore effort from American indie-rockers
                                                The Wrens.

- Also Stateside, International News has Republican nominee Donald Trump trying desperately to improve his chances of becoming President

- And the strange phenomenon of Single Issue Stridency is addressed in a Local News activism special!

- Our End of 2015 News Round Up features the Chancellor's Autumn Statement (left), a very Ellie Goulding Christmas, the 
first Calais Film Festival and David Cameron's 'Lords Surge'. 
Bashar al-Assad reflects on a momentous year in Syria, chillin' with Vladimir Putin and his growing showbiz fame in an Exclusive Guest Column.
'Diddy' David Cameron makes the key pledge that all our futures will be forever drug-free in National News.
- Intrepid globetrotter Tom Dickon Harry reflects on 2015, exploring the aftermath of Walt the Dentist vs. Cecil the Pig in a special Investigation.
- In Terror News Britain is entirely protected from extremist attacks through a combination of the Snoopers' Charter and Trident Renewal.
- Our Unwellness Guru explores the murky world of the inexpert lifestyle blogger, that's Archibald Scamp's 
Health Dispatch.
- And finally, the Conservatives' smearing of Labour Leader Jeremy Corbyn backfires terribly, read our Special Report.

- As torrential storms wreak their havoc across the UK, National News focusses on the horror of a long-term threat, Hurricane Diddy Dave (right).
- Our News Round Up features a brave bouncer taking on ISIS, a sneak preview of the Queen's 90th Birthday and a whole gang of Hard Left Bruisers
Unwellness Guru Archibald Scamp returns to explore the misguided nature of New Year's resolutions in our Health Update.
- In the wake of Britain's brilliant Syria Bombing CampaignInternational News details preparations for the next phase of our country's rewarding new war
- Our Classic LP this time out is 'Convicts', an exhilarating blast of a record from Antipodeans You Am I while in Terror News we detail the short rise and unfortunate fall of Social Media's famous Crowdsourcing Jihadi.
- And finally, the 'In' Campaign for our forthcoming EU Referendum gets a huge boost from being fronted by one of the funniest men on the planet, that's in Celebrity.

  - Republican Presidential candidate Donald Trump sees his latest campaign rally turn homicidal in International News (left).
- Our exclusive Investigation asks Which is Worse - Rugby or ISIS?
- In our Special Report resigning BREXIT crusader and former head of the DWP Iain Duncan Smith hits on a new means of boosting his failing income.
- Those militant Junior Doctors threaten both Health Secretary Jeremy Hunt and the NHS in National News.
- Celebrity Guest Columnist Bashar al-Assad sends his latest lifestyle dispatch back from Syria - And You Think Your Life Is Chaotic!
- In Local News blockading Black Cab Drivers protest against the times we live in.
- And finally, we report back on a Strange Case for the Independent Police Complaints Commission to investigate. 

- With the EU Referendum looming, we report on the consequences of the now-inevitable BREXIT in International News (right).
- Our Classic LPs series continues with a low-rock masterpiece from Morphine.
Katie Hopkins reveals an unexpected and controversial allegiance in our Celebrity Terror update.
Local News reports on how more and more ordinary criminals are being hit by the scourge of Political Correctness.
- In case you missed it, Clint Panzerdivision's latest Football Fracas delves into the murky world of 'reality show' Mystery Diners
- And the remaining Liberal Democrat MPs hit the road for a new fundraising initiative civered in National News.