Absolutely nothing whatsoever happening in the world of association soccer at the
moment, I'm sorry to report. I know, I'm as disappointed as you are, it's just one of those things. Win some, lose some, eh? See you next time, Fracas fans! Ah, Al's just pointed out - and illustrated with some remarkably expressive gestures - that my contribution to the website has averaged approximately thirty words a week since October, so I'm afraid we're going to have to press on regardless. Hmm. Well what say we take a look through the old postbag, and see what's on your minds? I can think of worse ways to fill a page. Not many, admittedly, but it means I can save scanning my arse and posting it until I get really desperate.
Ok, here's an e-mail from Joaquin Washington. "Don't be the 'little guy' in the club", he insists. Interesting subject. As it happens, I am quite a short man. This used to bother me, but over the years I've found that Cuban heels and a constant slow drip of simmering
resentment more than compensate for my lack of stature. Thanks, but no thanks, Joaquin. Leola Bowen wants to draw my attention to a pressing and doubtless fascinating report that I may otherwise have disregarded with her e-mail "[RE] Alert - Information Release", but wait! So do Jody Kirby: "[RE] January 5, 2006 Information Update", Kip Ivey: "[RE] S.H. Information", Clifton Tidwell: "re: News Update" and Neva Bautista: "Press Release". Woah, guys, guys! I just don't know where to start with this cornucopia of news! It all sounds so thrilling, but I don't know if we've got the space to fit so much in! I think we'll have to see if there's time towards the end. "Shame of sex? We can change it", offers Maura Huynh, and a mightily generous offer it is too. Perhaps if there's anyone out actually having any sex to be ashamed of, I can put you in contact with Maura - discretion assured. Like many of you I'm an avid stock market trader, a fact of which Antwan Siegel is well aware, so thanks Antwan, for "[RE NOTIFICATION - Shareholder Release]", also to Jan Pelletier for "Alert - Shareholders Update", Heidi Smart for "Investor Update" and particularly Evelyn Burke for "re: Mond Stock Notification" - I often lose track of how my mond stocks are doing. However, tempting though it is, this isn't really the time or the place for an in-depth financial report.
That said, it's interesting to note, as has Shawn Haley, that "Mortgage rates haven't been this low in the last 12 months". Just a shame that the same can't be said for house prices, eh Shawn? Still, I'm sure it's a relief to homeowners. Personally, I'm happy to be helping fund my double-barrelled landlady's recent purchase of a Tuscan villa, and would like to take the opportunity to distance myself from any suggestion that a massive property market crash would represent a long-awaited re-establishment of karmic balance. Such thoughts are petty and beneath us all.
Rene Shearer is another of you who seems keen to help me conquer an imagined sense of embarrassment. "This is most modern and safe way not to cover with shame", she maintains, and presumably goes on to explain her revolutionary technique. Really chaps, I'm touched by your concern, but it's quite unfounded. I've forwarded the e-mail to Maura though, who I'm sure will be eager to read about the new technology.
Great stuff here everyone, although I have to admit I'd hoped we might have stayed a little more focused on the topic in hand. My final letter comes from Brooks Bernard, and while, again, it's not entirely football related, I hope you'll share my sense of excitement and anticipation as Brooks confidently claims he holds the secret of how to "Eliminate all weakness and become the king!". Wow! You'd think just one or the other would have been impressive enough. Okay Brooks, let's see what you've got for us...
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