Two little words that mean so much, and yet say so little. Thank you. You can trot them out whenever you want, without even batting an eyelid. You’ve brought me a cup of tea? I didn’t really want one, but as I’ve run out of rum what the hell - thank you. Wow Aunty, you’ve knitted me a jumper out of an old sack with what I think is adisabled puppy dog on the front, and it looks so itchy that wearing the thing will probably be worse thanthe crabs I caught in Torremolinos, but I’ll thank you just so I don’t get nagged about being an impolitelittle so and so. Thank you. I’m getting a blow job? Usually I prefer women, but I’ve had a few pints and, tobe honest, it’s been a while. And basically any hole’s a goal, particularly since my testicles feel like acouple of ripe pumpkins banging around between my legs - thank you. See, you can say ‘thank you’ foranything without even thinking. But sometimes, occasionally, you have to say thank you because youmean it. Because something utterly wonderful has happened. Because someone really needs thanking.And so it is with Kellogg’s. Forthey make Crunchy NutCornflakes. And Crunchy Nut Cornflakes are nice. I wrote to Kellogg’s to give them a simple thank you. ‘Thank you for your lovely product’, I said. In return they sent me a nice letter (right) to thank me for the thank you, and a £3 money off voucher for Kellogg’s products. I see the ploy. Keep me eating. Make me addicted. Get me buying more and more. Attach me to the brand, and make me want to try other products in the range. Well, the Crunchy Nut Cornflakes were nice, so I wonder what else they do? What wheat-based breakfast treat I might have, something that will keep me visiting the porcelain shrine every morning to squeeze out a 10lb log, yet still be lovely and tasty? I see it now! My honest appreciation has me trapped! I can’t stop eating their cereal! They have me, the motherfuckers.
